Difference 1

A friend was talking about his family....

Mom is a very successful career woman. Her earning takes about 80% of the total income of the whole family whereas her husband does not make so high income as she does yet was really model type good looking while he's young.
Nevertheless, mom still holds the finance control for the whole family. Her husband got direct deposit from his job yet she holds all debit cards and pays all the bill. Whenever her husband needs cash, she is his ATM machine.

Then he talks about his sister and brother in law. His brother in law did not finish his college just because he wanted to get married with his sis earlier yet his sis did not find out about it after they got married. Even worst, his brother in law is facing glass ceiling within his org now yet content to his current status without noticing that he is about to have another kid in several months. Obviously, his brother in law has been a mooching while his mom has been an enabler for this situation by offering them money.

My mom and my brother came across my mind when I heard of the phrase "enabler" and "mooching." Though it's quite common for people at where I am from stay with their parents until they get married no matter how old they are (well, there will be exception for sure!), I lately started to think about the pros and cons. Good things staying with parents are cost saving, convenient as parents usually can't help taking good care of their children, and better way to take care of each other. However, the drawback is that kids get too reliable on parents that they don't get to be independent.

Coming to USA for 2 years, one of the differences I have found on American is being independent and responsible. (mostly so far) Whenever they have problems, parents usually are not the first one to ask for help; instead, they search the answer either from friends or online. No matter how, they bit the bullets and got things done! Parents in Asia must not totally agree on this way as they would wish they know what their kids have been through. However, I gradually come to realize that to know that children are capable to fix the problem is far more important to know what have been through. Yes, it's important to know what happened to them yet not to "enable" your children to rely on you solely.

A quote from a friend perfectly made the point: all parents should definitely kicked their kids' ass once among their lives.